i wonder why

I have never understood the fascination to live in the west. I always considered myself a proud and patriotic Indian and I promised myself that I would always live in India. But destiny, as it usually does, brought a twist in my tale and made me land here in the US of A. The first thing that struck me about the place was the ubiquitous absence of people (hey,i believe that's an oxymoron) as compared to the throngs of people that were strolling about in the streets, shops, movie halls and name wherever you want back in India. hmmmm, did'nt I feel lonely?




Next came the most important part, viz, the food. I was craving to get a taste of idli or dosa. But in a small town in the US where I live, it's called wishful thinking.(Even if one goes to an Indian restaurant anywhere in the US, what one experiences is not good food, but only a horror story). And I have never been one to test my culinary skills. Hmm, what do I do? Forget the craving signals sent by my hypothalamus and meditate on cereals, macaroni,pasta and what not. Urghhh!! Finally I consoled myself that this will at least give me an opportunity to lose weight!




Adding to my frustration, I learnt that I had to do the household chores all by myself(Sorry, my husband helps too!). Me, who had enjoyed all my life being a couch potato back at home!! I missed my mom very much and tears swelled up my eyes. My husband,also my childhood friend, who was well aware of my perennial laziness was chuckling sarcastically watching me at work and at the moment, I felt that this was a scene from Shakespeare's "Taming of the shrew", me being Katherina.




But most important of all, I missed my parents,sister,uncles,aunts,cousins,grandparents, friends, neighbours,our maid, the auto-drivers standing in the street corner, the priests in the neighborhood temple, the shopkeeper in the nearest grocery shop, the temple bell ringing every morning, the distant sound of the train, the ever-irritating(but now endearing) horn sound of the vehicles, the thunderous shout of the man with his vegetable barrow waking me up from sleep every afternoon.........well,the list seemed endless. This came as a shock to me who had taken people, things, events et al granted all my life. This feeling, this emptiness, came like an unexpected blow to my head.




I really wondered and still wonder why hundreds and thousands of Indians yearn for this life when they have probably everything they want back at home,sweet home! Is it a case of the grass being greener on the other side? Or does my simple mind refuse to see something beautiful and attractive about living here? Some say you experience a luxurious lifestyle here, but what's a good lifestyle without all your loved ones around and the freedom to do what you want and be yourself in your own country? I fail to realize the purpose of life when I have to relinquish everything above mentioned. I wonder and wonder.Someday,i'll probably have an answer. Whatever it is, all said and done, life goes on.......