As I boarded the 13 hour flight from Dubai back home, I thought I might catch up on sleep or watch a movie or two. I was returning home after a two week visit to India. However when I sat on the window seat and looked out through the window, the flight took off and so did my thoughts!! Back to the distant past!!
I’m 47 now and I moved to my current home country when I was 23! I had completed my Engineering course in one of the top academic institutions in India and was later recruited to a prestigious IT company where I worked for a year. I could have continued working there but 23 is when passion is at its peak and I wanted to climb the academic/career ladder. When some of my friends went abroad to do their Master’s degree, I followed track which brought me to where I currently live. A beautiful country which has warmly received its newcomers and provided them with equal opportunities as its own natives. When I was doing my Master’s degree, I met my husband who also happened to hail from a neighboring city in India. We fell in love, and after we completed our education and got our jobs, we were married. Two children, both sons followed. The subsequent years involved moving to a new home and trying to juggle work, children and social life with friends simultaneously. When I reached about 35, I almost felt a sense of contentment at what I had achieved in life thus far!! Or did I really?
A few years ago, when I was 40, I had returned back to India for vacation after a hiatus of 3 years. Busy work and kids’ schedule prevented me from going back in the interim years. This trip was accompanied by my family as well. I was shocked to see how my parents had aged. They were suffering from health issues and had to rely on a caregiver as I, their only child was thousands of miles away. Aunts, uncles and cousins were all busy with their lives and I realized how without intending to, how distant I had become from all their lives as well. These were the closely knit families that I used to spend every vacation with in childhood years. Every one had become a stranger unknowingly over the years. Even though social media seemingly connected us, it was still a zillion miles away from spending actual time with these folks! When I visited my alma mater, tears flowed from my eyes. This was the place that nurtured me with all the knowledge I have gained today. Why was I not in a position to give back to who or what that brought me up? What was I doing in a place far far away from everything that had once mattered to me? The answer has continued to elude me. And it has also questioned the purpose of my life and what I seemingly think my small accomplishments in it!! I hope to know and understand some day. With that thought, I realized that my flight had landed. I wiped a dry tear on my cheek as I told myself that independent of whether my question would be answered or if the answer would remain elusive, life is all about moving on. I stood up to get my carry on luggage. I knew my husband and teenage sons would be waiting for me at the airport and escorting me home! This brought me a smile to my previously wistful face. I walked slowly towards the exit!
The pleasant flight attendant who was standing at the exit and bidding farewell to every passenger noticed an elegant middle-aged Asian woman with good looking clothes and a designer handbag she immediately recognized walking toward her. Here is probably a woman who had it all, she thought!! The passenger’s heart knew otherwise!!
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